Look at me, with the Twitter-ing machine! Come and “follow” me, in a purely figurative sense! Recent electronic messages:
Article on cover of this month’s Cosmo: When Your Vagina Acts Weird After Sex. I’m curious – does it start listening to Zappa or something?
“No, not THAT kind of bear!” – Richard Simmons, on more than one occasion.
“Once you’ve passed me the mashed potatoes, you have my permission to die.” – Me overusing Dark Knight Rises quotes.
“Softball is like baseball, but with a softer ball,” said the Guy With No Friends to no one in particular.
If you’re a chef, and you’re not really fat…I don’t completely trust you.