I had no idea what the fuck was happening, but I laughed from start to finish and it left me wanting more.
Does the girl you want to date have a boyfriend, fiancé, or husband? If so, you must be realistic about your odds. Is he more successful than you? Is he more charming? Taller? Better looking? If you were her, would you rather have sex with him or you? If you were you, would you rather have sex with her or him? Are you gay? Maybe you’re gay.
4. Helen Keller, You Whore!
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10 Words or Fewer Summary: Superhero fights crime with his belt, speaks gibberish
Drink coffee until you find yourself striding purposefully through your workplace shouting things like, “HI BOB HOW’S IT GOING BOB NICE TIE BOB WANT TO GO PAINTBALLING AFTER WORK BOB?”
3. Dunston Checks Into Rehab
They then settle their complex and mysterious rivalries by punching each other repeatedly in the face, for large stakes of money.
Are These Close-up Photos of Barbara Walters’ Throat Bothering You?
Don’t be afraid to be bold and sensual. Pull your mouth away from theirs and blow erotically into their eyes. Sniff the air suggestively. Leave and come back a little later.